What Brain Think About Sex?

Brain is having a different way of think when it comes about sex. It’s not like the way we think about sex, even we are thinking with our brain. When we think about sex, all that we want is only sex, nothing more. But when BRAIN think about sex, the brain think something different. Actually, what is the brain thinking about sex?

First, we already discuss about the sexual appeal before. Well, actually it’s not that far from that, but there’s something significantly different when the brain, our BRAIN do it. Our brain try to search for the best partner, either it’s from the face, the smell, or the voice, brain does everything for us to think for the best way to have sexual partner.

So what is actually brain think about sex? At first of course, the brain want for us to find the best sexual partner for us, but how did the brain do it? It can be by what we look. We humans always like something that symettrical, so we will try to find something that is symettrical, usually the brain look at the face of someone and analize if the person that we look is the best sexual partner or not.

After that, the smell and the voice. Usually if we can’t see the person’s face, we will try to know the smell and the voice. Why is that? Sexy voice and sexy scent of someone indicate that someone is also pretty or handsome. The way our brain told us that it like the smell or the voice, it will tell us if it’s the best sexual partner for us.

But what our brain did is only find the best sexual partner, not for our husband or wife. So what brain did is only to find the way we can having sex without thinking for the next step. Brain don’t know about how love is if you only look at the first sight.

No means No!

We often see or hear the news about kidnapping that happened in the society, it all begin from social network and it happened to children kidnapping or  even adult kidnapping. Social network really liked by children or even teenager these days. Because with social network we can easily find so many friends.

These what we need to aware of, because starting from our friendship in social network it can be triggered kidnapper to stalk us and kidnap us. For the example, we have one friend and then exchange our phone number, after that we agreed to meet with our new friend in some place even we still don't know our friend yet. That is where kidnapping being executed.

With so many kidnapping base on social network, supposedly there're many parents tell their children about the danger of social network and be careful to have friend with in the social network (that what my parents said to me, but that doesn't mean only parents who said to be careful, but we ourselves also have to be careful to choose friends in the social network, especially new friends that we don't know. It would be best if we not get into the invitation that being invite by our new friends in social network by ourselves, it would be better to go with our friends. If we really want to meet our new friend, it's best if we meet somewhere in the crowd and if it's possible, bring one of your friend to accompany you or tell your new friend to to meet where we decide, not them.

Giveaway Prize from Dualshine and Lipgloss Affairs Exclusive Giveaway

When I'm in my class [Monday, 2 September 2013] I just checking my email, if there is any important mail. And luckily I received an email from Sangeetha N that showed:

Dear Theresia

Congratulations!!

You have won the 'Dualshine and Lipgloss Affairs Exclusive Giveaway'. Pls visit the links below and pick your 3 fav (1 bracelet, 1 Ring and 1 pair of Earrings)

Here are the links to the items you can choose from ~

1.http://www.dualshine.com/78470/2013-Fashion-Green-Acrylic-Beads-With-Letter-LOVE-Beaded-Bracelets.html

2.http://www.dualshine.com/78468/2013-Fashion-Gold-Or-Silver-Acrylic-Chain-Bracelets.html

3.http://www.dualshine.com/78216/Fashion-Alloy-Cross-And-Figure-8-Bicyclic-Beads-Bracelets.html

4.http://www.dualshine.com/77460/Party-Popular-In-Europe-and-America-Earrings-Multicolor-Selection.html

5.http://www.dualshine.com/77461/The-Bright-Hollow-European-and-American-Jewelry-Wholesale-Earrings.html

6.http://www.dualshine.com/77502/FashionAlloy-And-Rhinestone-Double-Open-Ring-With-Moustache-Shape.html

7.http://www.dualshine.com/77497/Exquisite-Fashion-Gold-Silver-Alloy-Rhinestone-Flower-Plant-Shape-Women-Shield-Ring.html

8.http://www.dualshine.com/77493/Lovely-Fashion-Alloy-Black-Moustache-Double-Fingers-Rings-Wholesale.html

After surprised for a couple minutes, because as I remember I don't really hope to win this giveaway even I love the items. LOL. So, these is the picture when the package is arrived in my house at Friday, 27 September 2013. I know that this post is very late because of my class schedule in college, also with so many task that I have to do, so I'm really sorry for the late response.

The Package is wrapped by a bubble wrap

Item that I choose (Click to buy)

Ring: Exquisite Fashion Gold Silver Alloy Rhinestone Flower Plant Shape Women Shield Ring 

Bracelet: Fashion Alloy Cross And Figure 8 Bicyclic Beads Bracelets

Earrings: Party Popular In Europe and America Earrings Multicolor Selection

That ring concealed almost all of my pointy ugly finger. The model is very great and really comfortable, eventhought at the first time I kinda hesitating to wear it. This is when I wear it (just ignore my face, okay)

Sniff my short hair ~ ~

I always wear the bracelet when I go to the campus and some of my friends, who know that I like to spend my break time to join some giveaway, know the item is an item that I won from dualshine. I actually ask my friends which item is the best and very good from the gift that is on the list, because almost all the item on the list is too cute!

I give the earring to my mom, because I don't have any hole in my ears for the earring and I'm not brave enough to wear earrings. LOL. It feels weird if I wear some earrings. Thank you so much for the giveaway dear Sangeetha N and dualshine!

What are you fantasizing?

Fantasy, it is something that have no limit. Last time, we discuss the paraphilias, now we will discuss something before we do paraphilias, which is the sexual fantasy.

What is sexual fantasy? Sexual fantasy is something that you imagine and what you want to do when you're going to have sex. Every person have different kind of fantasies, and it's include sexual fantasies. Is it also same with women? Well, without further ado, this is a video about the Female Sex Fantasies!

Well, so from the pictures, and the video, we can see the differences between male and female. But there's a distinctive difference that male and female had. While male want to the point, having sex with many people, while female want to build a relationship first rather than having sex all the way.

So, keep fantasizing, but with a manner and don't lose to your own imagination, get back in real life too.

Show yourself in another way

What makes you different from anyone else? Maybe it's your ability, maybe it's because you are smart, maybe it's because you rich, poor, or many else. But there's a thing makes someone different from anyone else, it's called paraphilias and it's about sexual disorder.

We're continuing what we left in here. Before we talk about STDs, now we talk about disorder which is more for the exhibitionist.

What is exhibitionism actually? It's when someone show their genital to someone else that they don't know. Most of them are men, but women also do that if they have high sexual drives. What actually makes them do that? There is a possibility that at first they also don't want to do it. But they want to be recognize by someone else so they show themselves, what they are, in...a weird way.

Well, they actually want to show themselves, maybe they don't have friends, and when they saw someone afraid because of what they did, they feel arouse more and more and enjoy what they did. Because of that they have a different way of think and like to be an exhibitionist.

Maybe we feel weird with them, but they still can be our friends. We can tell them to show themselves in another way, which show their abilities, not their genital.

So let's show ourselves, not the genitals, but our abilities.

Support and Aware about STD

If we talking about sexuality, there's also STD or STI (Sexually Transmitted Diseases or Infection).

If we don't want to get STD, we're not supposed to changing the sexual partner, tell to your partner about STD (if you're infected), don't use medicine for the genital without consult it to the doctor first, use condom, and also check yourself to the Andrologist or Gynecologist (especially before married).

The knowledge about STD as soon as possible maybe have a positive chance for not changing sexual partner.

Rather than we discuss more about STDs, we will discuss more about the psychological aspect if we get STD. There are denial, anger, depression, and withdrawal. These are the steps where someone who already got STD.

First, is denial. The denial take an important role for spreading STDs. It takes someone to get infected and not searching for a medication. Most of them would say, "It will not happen to me." A classic sentence that anyone would say, but they actually easily get infected because of having that kind of mindset and (if) then having sex with anyone you met. 

Second, anger. This one is not that someone get angry because of themselves, but more like blaming other that they get STDs, especially their sexual partners.

Next, depression. You could predict this one will happen to most of the person who got STDs. They will feel loss, loss their confidence, loss relationship, and even worse, loss their lives.

The fourth and the last one is withdrawal. They will withdraw themselves from society, it's because of depression so they withdraw from the society. But in some big cities, there's support group helping them to know even they have STDs, they still live and learn how to fulfilling their lives now, rather than stay alone, rotting and died.

This is some effective way to handle the STD (for women):

-Use condom when having sex, use condom maybe not fully protecting you but its effective for reducing get infected STD.

-Check your vagina regularly. Also tell it to your partner. That way, you will not get infected and also can get the right medication.

-Do not get drunk or having drugs before having sex (even after you have sex). It will be hard to control yourself if you get drunk. And it can makes you take stupid decisions. So, be careful!

-The last one is, be faithful to your partner. More loyal you are to your partner, more likely you will not get STDs. Put that notes also to your partner.

That is some advice for not getting STDs. Hope it might be helpful!

Never Ever

When in school, one of my friend put a picture in her social network, he put the picture with his girlfriend and posing while kissing her each other. What I feel? Weird! Other than the 'brave' picture is the background, if we look carefully to the background, they are together inside a room. While my friend just dating for less than a month. For me, this is not appropriate to showed it for public.

About 3 or 4 month later, I got some bad news about my friend and he didn't go into school for about 2 weeks. The news that is spreading around is, he got suspended because her girlfriend abort the infant in her pregnancy because they are is still go to school. When he went back to school, some of my friends 'approved' the news and one of my friend 'got' in for having because the girl is too aggressive and often touched his genital when driving the motorcycle.

In contrast, I also know one of my junior that got premarital pregnancy finally got married. Sometimes I saw that she wrote the status in the social network saying that she confuse where is her couple went. Even in the end, she give birth for her infant, it would be hard for her to take care of her child without the figure of the father.

I think, those thing is not because 'accident'. As a woman, woman should be able to stop her partner desire to have sex, and even in the end you got premarital pregnancy, I hope that there's no one who dare to abort their infant in purpose. Because every living thing, every life have the rights to live. But, there's also some things that we need to consider for abort the infant. Maybe it's medical, or maybe it can threaten the life of the mother and the child. However, what about men who also is the accomplice to make the baby in women womb?

Men, please consider about your partner when you're dating. Maybe you can think, "Well, before I get married, I want to have a test to my girlfriend if she actually want to make baby with me." And soon after that, you feel like, your girlfriend is not good enough. So you search for another woman and do the same. Is it bad? Maybe you ask like that.

If we only searching for the best, there will be the best than the best. Like there's cloud above the cloud. So, when will you stop searching for the perfect one? Maybe after you got married, you look at another girl and you get divorce only for having sex with another girl. What kind of feel that you will feel if you live only for having sex? You will having fun, but only for sex. How about making the family, will you appreciate your partner.


So start to appreciate the ones who love you. Don't make her future ruined. Don't make sex as only for fun, because you will spend half of your life-time with your partner (with note that if you responsible to marry her or make the infant born).

It's not only the beauty of getting orgasm together, but about how you raise your child later.

Marriage in Adult Relationship

Okay, last time we talked about your other half from a documentation. Now, we will talk about the marriage. Why not when dating? Because if in dating, all of the dating couples, they’re still lovey dovey like there are the only 'sweet couple' in the world. But it’s different if they already get married.

In marriage, there are some problem that we have to face. It’s not a happy ever after story like in fairy tale, but more like it’s the start of our family, our own family like no other family. However, is it really make us happy??

In these days, there are so many kinds of marriage. Even it’s only heterosexual, or gay, or lesbian, or those who is different in religion, and more. When we married, it looks like we know each other, but actually it’s not like that. Somehow, we don’t know almost everything about our partner. Do you know what happened when someone get divorce? Some of it because of something simple like I said before. But then, some of us can manage to set aside our differences and can live together until we’re all old. I saw a couple who do that when I went to Europe. It’s really sweet when I saw them and I also want to be like that with my future husband. When we saw those who can be together until old, are they having a “Happily ever after” time??

Try to ask them, are they happily ever after? They certainly can tell that they don’t have the “happily ever after” time. But then, how they can become together all the time like the one from that photo? It’s only how they can accept each other, how they can love each other no matter what is happening in their marriage. The way they can be together is, when they’re dating, they know each other’s weakness and logically accept their weakness.

Okay, that one is about marriage, maybe for this one, I will go out from track, but still in the adult relationship. It’s about cohabitation. Maybe there are those who want to test it out before getting married. They want to know what is the life with each other but with no marriage relationship. Most of what they do is, having sex. But it’s something usual for those in the West, but not really like that in the East.

Why is cohabitation important for some people? Maybe they want to get married, but for some, it’s only for having sex together. In cohabitation, even they do it like those who get married, still they have something missing from marriage. What are they missing? Let’s think about this, what will happen when they have children? Some of them maybe got an abortion, some of them are forced to get married, they don't get a really happy life when children get into their life. Cohabitation only want to have sex, while married couple want to create a new family.

If you want to be married, better prepared yourself to make the family and face what you will face in the marriage life.

Have you found your other half?

Just how we rate someone that we love? How we can fall in love with someone else? Actually there's a secret behind the process 'look and fall in love'. After watch documentation movie titled "Science of Sex Appeal" and strive to taking note inside the dark Audio Visual room, there's so many answer the question of, "What is the process of someone look and than attracted with each other and fall in love?"

The man's masculinity face shows that man having a healthy testosterone hormone or poor testosterone hormone. Dubrine having research about human face and then cut the photos of his subjects into parts like eyes, noses, and ears and then pile it up become symmetric. The purpose of this research its to see if respondent choose the face with symmetric or not symmetric. The result is most individuals chose the subject with symmetric face. 

Someone maybe attractive because of their genes so it can make us attracted to them. We attracted to someone maybe because of physical health and genetics from the person we like.

What is your opinion about someone else appearance? In that documentation, it is said that hip and waist that same like golden ratio (shape like an hourglass) often shows fertility and health of somebody. Someone's way of walking also shows the level of fertility and with short lifetime.

voice also one of the tool to become an interaction connection between individuals. That's why at night, where only sounds that can be heard within couples, usually make sexual relationship more often. Man's voice heard deeper, be more liken by anyone. While women voice higher will be more liken by anyone.

Women also look prettier, more attractive, and the light of her face when they're in their ovulation. Ovulation time makes women voice different which make the voice become higher that before ovulation. At the peak of ovulation, men's smell become not really disturb women. Copulin is a major women pheromone which only in women. Copulin itself is a secret weapon that women produce while ovulating. Women also can be not loyal to their partner when they're having ovulation and there's men who have opportunity and character that complete and more possibility to give birth.

There's aroma of hate and not interest of scent to avoid the incest. The deepest nature secret to avoid incest.

According to Kenrick, all of the 'effort' is used for hunting the best gene to continuing individual generation (searching for the best partner) but if we always seeking for the best gene, it will be hard to look for a partner. Sexual appeal becoming an important point in searching for partner. Like car, more expensive the car, you look more handsome. In here, the first sight about the partner appearance often become a bridge to like someone.

The game 'Finding your Partner' which naturally we do with attract the opposite sex to approach us is called as flirting.

In the end, brain is the first and the last who hold the role in choosing your partner, keeping relationship with your partner, and making the 'nest' later on. Our unconscious mind decide sex appeal from our partner. Love is effort. Match with each other not just sexual relationship like kissing, hugging, or touching hand, but more like effort for being altogether forever. So, have you found the one in your life? If you already have, have you make effort in your relationship?

Have you ever watched movie titled 'Cinta Brontosaurus'? In the documentation movie 'Science of Sexual Appeal' and Cinta Brontosaurus movie, I found some similarity that love not have to leave the partner before one of them has gone. Love maybe can be expired but there's still many ways to 'do something' so it will not be expired.

I love you.. Like I never ever love no one before you - M2M ♥

Orientation Sexual is Your Choice

Continuing the last post, about sexual orientation, there's some categories which is Heterosexual, Homosexual, and Bisexual.

Heterosexual likes a person from another sex.

Homosexual likes a person who have the same sex with them.

.

Bisexual likes to both of the sex.

If in the past post I write about homosexual, this time I want to discuss about bisexual. Why? Because when I listen about the Sexual Orientation group, I remembered about my friend who confess herself as a Bi. I know her from the social network and after a while, I don't know why my friend brave enough to tell me about how her relationship and her conversation with her same sex partner and opposite sex partner.

At first I feel uncomfortable to be friend with her, but after a while, I feel that I don't have the power to make her avoid her sexual orientation. But, honestly, I'm shocked, want to avoid the message that she sent me, even until today I still having friendship with her (since friendster-facebook until twitter). Why I don't end our friendship with her? I will quote Mam Henny's words in class, "I appreciate the exintence from a person, even they're homosexual or bisexual. But as a human being."

There's reason and causes why people become homosexual or bisexual. The difference of the sexual orientation maybe because of the genetics, hormone, order of birth, or physics. So from now on, try to not look with only one eye or look down people with different sexual orientation with You

It doesn't matter what color, sex, religion, age, sexual orientation, etc., everyone should have the same freedoms and liberties-Lance Bass.

Gay marriage is two people loving each other is beautiful no matter what their gender or sexual orientation and should be celebrated-Unknown quotes.

Sexual Orientation

Which one better: Heterosexual, Homosexual, or Bisexual??

Human, in biologicaly, is supposed to be a heterosexual who likes another person from another sex. Like male fall in love  to women and vice versa. However, there are some of us who don't like the opposite sex. We called it homosexual.

Homosexual is divided into gay and lesbian. Which is gay is like with same men and lesbian with the same women. Now, some of the country already accept the marriage between the homosexuals. Some of us think that as a really nasty thing, but now we need to accept them as a whole. Why? Well, they're also human right, so we need to accept them as they already choose it. Even in psychology, we need to accept everyone as our client no matter if they were homosexual or heterosexual.

For homosexual, they often become homosexual because of some traumatic event. What kind of traumatic event? It's because one of their relatives maybe have sexual abused to them and their relatives is the same sex. Usually their uncle who do it to their nephew. For women, they become lesbian because they're hate men and want to be with women because women care about them.

A couple of lesbian get married in Tokyo Disney Resort. This couple wear the same white dress like a fairy tale even there is a term that one of them have to wear a men suit.

"My beloved Hiroko and I wear that wedding dress and having a mini parade in Disney Sea, which is also a place that I like," said Koyuki Higashi, 28, on Twitter. 

"I'm very happy!" she said.

Now, about the bisexuals, they like men also women. So for them, every sexual relationship is fine. The reason for them doing this is actually simple, they don't satisfied for they're sexual life. So for having more thrilled in their sexual life, they try to add another seasoning for their sexual life. Or it can be because of they're actually homosexual, but want to have kids, so they got married with another sex and having kids.

Okay, that sum up about the heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. But maybe you ask, "What about the person who is love to the same sex, not because of traumatize event from their past, but because they like the same sex from born?". Now you said about genetically they're already homosexual. Can it be like that?

For men, they can be more like women because of their hormones. You know about testosterone and progesterone? Well, testosterone is hormone to become more masculine, while progesterone is hormone to become more feminine. Everyone have these hormones and it depends what will develop more. So if a man have more progesterone that testosterone, they become more feminine, while women who have more testosterone will become more masculine.

Can these hormone make them become gay or lesbian? No. At first when men more feminine, maybe their parents incidentally make them become more and more feminine. And until some point, they become a gay and not heterosexual.

But then, which one is better? Well, we are made for being men and women who complete each other. So we need to take care of each other. And that means we are not made as a homosexual. But what about bisexual? Bisexual still with women. Is it so? Bisexual can be because of they're actually homosexual, but want to have a child so they married with another sex. So we need to see through the background and look at what is wrong with them

Whatever they are, whoever they are, they're still human and we need to respect and care with them as a human being not another creature. Even sometimes those who is heterosexual is don't have any norm as a human rather than homosexual.

We're human, we still need each other. No matter what they are, we have to talk with them as a human.

Source:
AFP. (March 6, 2013). Pernikahan sesama jenis di Tokyo Disneyland.

Love and Intimacy. Not just a fairy tale!

Have you ever went on to relationship or do you get close to someone? Have you ever feel that love is actually a mystery? Actually, that's what I feel. Sometimes, in the relationship that I go through, I feel not success to find the formula of love and, well, there is no formula of love. In love itself, there's a cause that we like someone, that is pheromone. That's why siblings don't like each other because they don't like each others smell. That's for preventing the incest. There is also process to love and be loved. This is how you can having a good relation between friends and your partner.

In the Sexual Behavior class yesterday, I realized that love is not like a fairy tale, when there is kingdoms, with princess and prince who ride a white horse, partying all day, and so on. Live is not just romantic. Do you really think that Cinderella live happily ever after with his Prince Charming? The prince could be have some bad attitude so they got divorce.

There are some types of love, which is:

1. Romantic love: usually having some physically attractive and sexual desire. There are some criteria to attract to, is it physically or sexually. There is also have some anxiety and restless. In this type, someone tend to idealize their partners, ignore the mistake that their partners would make even though what their partners did is truly fault.

2. Passionate love: sign with interest with each other so they can have sex before marriage.

3. Companionate love: sign with trust and care with each other. It involves loving, intimacy, and attachment with the others. The point is, there is commitment in relationship.

—John Alan Lee suggests that there are six basic types of love:

1. Eros (romantic lover): Often called as "love at the first sight" where the couple full of passion.

2. Ludus (game-playing lover): The couple often seen as break up and in love with each other again everytime. 

3. Storge (quiet, calm lover):  Couples that the relationship is not like dating each others.

4. Mania (crazy lover): This is love that can be very dangerous because the partner have a very high level of jealousy. 

5. Pragma (practical lover): The relationship looked as having each others approval in their relationship.

6. Agape (selfless lover): Couples look very thrusting their partners, but it can be negative if the couple feel not being in their attention.

Now, do you realize that love in the past is really different with love at this time?

Couples in the past can be married because they are being paired with and go the "dating" time when in marriage. But, couples from the past still can be more acceptable to their own partners all that they had. That's why couples from the past still have more commitment and there's rarely have a divorce. 

Nowadays, women can work and often have many demand in life. They're also lack of feeling thank rather than in the past. It's all happen because there is difference of demand and commitment.

It seems hard to accept partner if the partner itself (especially men) doesn't have their own personal car, funds for dating, also maybe doesn't active in the social media. Imagine that, your partner only have a bicycle, doesn't have any income, only have e-mail and doesn't understand about internet. There are some partner (women) angry and having a conflict because no good night message, no see you message, no good morning message and so on in the social media. Can you imagine how complicated it is in today's relationship?

Relationships take effort and when a couple stops working on the relationship, both partners can become very lonely, love can fade and intimacy can evaporate. When love is lost, for whatever reason, it is a time of pain and mourning. The support of family and friends can help us let go of the lost love and try to form new attachments. But also don't little by little we update our status to seeking attention because in some times, people who read about it also become angry. 

Sometimes I saw couples that giving code by downloading a certain pictures to give code for another partner to buy for it. It means you manipulate your partner and controlling them in hope your partner buy it for you. When the partner didn't buy it? There will be conflict.

Possessiveness indicates a problem of self-esteem and personal boundaries and can eventually lead to stalking. Possessive people maybe smelling the aroma of their partner, check all of their belongings, check and control their partner message and other activity in their phone. Also don't let their partner go without their permit.

—Good communication skills are an integral part of all healthy 

relationships and couples who know how to communicate with each

other are happier, more satisfied, and have a better chance of

making their relationship last. —Communication fosters mutual

understanding, increases emotional intimacy, and helps deepen

feelings of love and intimacy. —However, lack of communication

skills is a major source of trouble in relationships. 

As we grow older, commitment in love becomes more important and passion may decrease importance.

So, who is the first one that loving us without ask something from us? The answer is our parents. They don't ask us to pay anything and don't complain as they take care of us until now.

Have you ever watch Shrek? Maybe that is the example of how love being effort and have commitment. Shrek defeated the dragon and the evil Farquaad until married with princess Fiona. Even Fiona's parents surprise when they know that their son-in-law is a giant Ogre. Not only that, their beautiful princess now change into an Ogre like her husband. Even so, with all of the effort, Fiona's parents allowed their relationship. People who said happily ever after never take an effort because the basic of love is effort and struggle.

—Good lovers are sensitive to their partners’ needs and desires

and can communicate their own desires. —Overall, we know that

communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy

and satisfying relationship.

You don't have to look about your partner's social network, checking

his/her phone everyday, spying all his/her activity, smelling his/her

smell that is not your smell. Let your partner free and trust them.

With commitment, good communication, and trust, your partner will not

having affair from you.